White House on Lock Down After Discovering Suspicious Coffee Cup

This is a story that, at first, seems silly to me. I mean there’s a package no one can identify and it turns out to be a coffee mug. Happens at my house all the time, but of course no one considers it suspicious. I get that the White House staff is a little edgier than my family and co-workers are. Not that I don’t have enemies. I suspect the balance coffee maker manufacturer will never really get over my review.

I do have concerns for the President. I’d like to share them here. I no longer have his email like I did when he was an easy-to-reach congressman.

  • Don’t put anything in your mug except 100% fresh brewed coffee. This means from beans roasted no longer than two weeks ago and ground moments before brewing.
  • Have them use a real quintessential American method such as the Chemex. It fits perfectly with your agenda. It was created by an immigrant after all, residing in a blue state. Maybe you can borrow the one residing in the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York. I just saw it there, and it’s kept sparkling clean.
  • If they try shenanigans like offering you a K-cup, tell them you need to keep your environmental record 100% pure. Let the next administration create a landfill mess, not yours. It was embraced by the majority for a brief time period, but it’s now on the outs with voters, but thanks to the work of an entire United States specialty coffee industry, it’s become passe. Even my own humble efforts to teach consumers through my blog and my CoffeeCon consumer event has brought the concept of simple brewing to many consumers.
  • Make sure they serve you your coffee moments after brewing. Don’t let them leave it cooking on a hot plate or suffocating in a thermal carafe. You’re the President. We elected you to do a job and we expect you to enjoy the best coffee there is.
  • Ask them to heat your mug with a little hot water, then discard it before filling your cup. That will bring it nearer the coffee’s temperature and keep your coffee nice and hot as you sniff the aroma, and sip it as you ponder the world’s problems and your solutions.
  • If you want cream and or a sweetener. Go ahead. It’s a free country. However, my counsel to you is to sip a few sips absolutely free of any additives. You might be surprised.
  • If you use cream, I urge you to use high fat cream from grass-fed cows. Low-heat pasteurized. It makes a difference in taste and your own health.
  • Realize that your mug is holding the product of many, many people and is truly a global product.

Bless you, Mr President, for the important work you do. Enjoy your coffee. And, don’t forget to thank the auto repair shop who sent it to you. They bought a lot of them from China and they need to make their marketing dollars pay.

 

Warm regards,

Kevin Sinnott

Author, The Art and Craft of Coffee

Creator/Host CoffeeCon The Consumer Coffee Festival

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